Deleted Scenes
The first scene of the rehearsal script is broken down into four segments, only two of which were retained in the final production. Scene 1, “STOCK FILM. NIGHT”, is an establishing shot of a steam train arriving at a London terminal (see Home and Away).
This is followed by Scene 1a, “CLOSE SHOT – PETER MASON. (STUDIO)”, which establishes the character as “An unobtrusive man in his late twenties.” As in the completed episode, Mason stands on the station platform, drinking a carton of milk through a straw. “Beside him is a trolley loaded with fish boxes. Behind him is a tattered poster advertising one of the resorts like Blackpool or Brighton. Apart from his flickering eyes, he looks casual and relaxed.”
The recorded version of this episode omits Scene 1a, cutting straight from Scene 1 to Scene 1b, “INT. COMPARTMENTS. (STUDIO)”, in which Mason can be seen through the train’s windows. An old woman (who on screen was changed to a married couple) is gathering her belongings. Mason comes up to the window, looks in and then moves on, expressionlessly, to the next section. The next compartment contains Jenny Graham, “a purposeful twenty-three year old” (on screen, her age was reduced to twenty). She swings her case down off the rack and opens the train door. Mason watches, still expressionless, as she alights.
The final segment of the opening scene was to have been Scene 1c, “LEGS SEQUENCE – PLATFORM”, showing Jenny’s legs marching through the steam and dirt, up the platform, her heels echoing as she goes. In the finished episode, this was replaced with a continuation of Scene 1b, with the viewer seeing Jenny passing Mason, and then Mason following her.
* * *
The script describes Joe Mallet’s snack bar (referred to in the script as a coffee shop) as having “A counter laden with cups and cake under cloths, a steaming urn and, on shelves at the back, a pyramid of soup tins. Radio Luxembourg plays incessantly.” It is implied that it is the coffee shop’s radio that can be heard, but in the final production the music comes from Jenny’s portable radio. There is also a hatch leading to a kitchen out of vision.
In the script, Mallet (here spelled Mallett), yawns more frequently than he does on screen, initially when Mason enters the coffee shop. He yawns again (but for the first time on screen) when Mason pays for his cup of tea. In the script, Mallett promises that he will “Get me second wind in a minute.” In the recorded version, Mason tells Mallet to put his hand over his mouth.
When Mason sits down next to Jenny in the script, he shouts over to Mallett in reference to the radio, “Can’t hear ourselves think.” This was changed to Mason asking Jenny to pass the sugar (a routine he later repeats with Sue Forbes). In the completed episode, the volume of the radio is addressed slightly later in the scene – Jenny switches it off when she struggles to hear Mason’s question, “What was wrong with Hull?” In the script, Jenny refuses Mason’s offer of a cigarette, but she takes it on screen.
* * *
According to Roger Marshall’s description, North Country solicitor Drummond “is a forthright man – half an hour with him in a train and you’ll have his life story.” Marker’s introduction to him is more amicable in the rehearsal script than it would end up being in the transmitted version. In the script, Marker is present to usher in his guest when Drummond arrives at his door. “Mr Marker?” asks the solicitor.
“That’s right,” nods Marker. “You’re Drummond?”
Drummond confirms this, replying, “Of Drummond and Penfold.” Marker then bids him to take a seat.
As broadcast, the meeting gets off to a shakier start. Marker is out on the balcony feeding the pigeons when Drummond arrives at his door. The solicitor lets himself in, has a nosy around and then seats himself in Marker’s chair, where he looks through some of Marker’s paperwork. Marker sees this through the window and re-enters. “Receipts and counterfoils,” says Marker, annoyed. “Not very interesting.”
“Mr Marker?” asks the solicitor.
“I might be,” is all Marker is prepared to say at this point. “Who are you?”
“Drummond,” replies his guest, “of Drummond and Penfold.”
“Oh, then I am Marker.” The inquiry agent checks his watch. “I thought we said half past.”
“Well, it is, near enough,” replies Drummond.
The scene then continues more or less as scripted, with just a few small changes. One of these occurs when Drummond tells Marker that he saw the inquiry agent’s name in the classifieds (in the script, he found him in the phone book). On screen, Drummond adds, “F. Marker, Inquiry Agent. That doesn’t give much away.” “Not meant to,” replies Marker, “Inquiry agent, special investigator, private detective… Call me what you like for six pounds a day plus expenses.” This exchange was added to help introduce the main character to new viewers, as this episode was originally meant to launch Public Eye in the ATV London, Border, Channel and Westward regions.
After complaining to Drummond that there’s nothing like a cold trail, Marker was to have added, “As the bloodhound said.”
* * *
When Marker calls at the coffee shop in the script, Mallett is mopping the floor. On screen, he is putting empty bottles away under the counter. The scripted version of Mallett wears glasses – “Hold on,” he says, when shown the photograph of Jenny, “Have to get my specs.” Photo in hand, he goes around the counter and produces a pair of spectacles, which he loops over his ears. Despite this delaying tactic, Marker gets the impression that Mallett recognises Jenny.
In the script, the party of card-playing customers breaks up and begins to leave as Marker completes his questioning of Mallett. One of the customers, a taxi driver called Phil White, recognises Marker and says hello. During rehearsals, this was changed so that Marker goes over to the table and asks to speak to White. This revision emphasises Marker’s investigative skills – he seeks out White’s knowledge and connections, rather than them coming to him by convenient coincidence. In the script, the card-playing customers are all taxi drivers, but in the finished production only White wears a taxi driver’s uniform.
After being asked by White if he is still looking for “that fat fella”, Marker was to have replied, “I’ll find him one day.”
In the script, White accepts Marker’s offer of a couple of pounds for his help, after which Marker asks how his wife is. “She’s a lot better,” the taxi driver replies, before adding, “Got a problem for you.” In the completed episode, this was altered so that White refuses the payment. “Oh, please, Frank,” he chuckles, before adding, “But you can do something for me.”
* * *
Some of the visual business in Dannon’s antique shop and office was rejigged during rehearsals. In Dannon’s first scene, the script indicates that we see Dannon watching Mason as the latter enters the shop. This does not happen in the broadcast version of the scene, but we subsequently see Dannon peering through his office window when Marker visits the shop towards the end of Act Two.
Dannon’s second scene with Mason, earlier in Act Two, establishes that there is a bowl of rosebuds on the desk in Dannon’s office. In the final production, the rosebuds are seen earlier, during the first meeting between Dannon and Mason. Philip Madoc makes use of one of these when his character describes Jenny as a resource that could be exploited more effectively. Dannon was originally scripted to say, “But even gems need polishing. Need a good setting to highlight them.” In the finished episode, Dannon takes one of the rosebuds as he says, “But even a gem needs polishing.” He puts the rosebud in his buttonhole as he adds, “Even a rose needs a good setting… to highlight it.” He then chuckles at his own joke.
On the page, Dannon is an almost entirely humourless character, who “permits himself a smile” just once – in Act Three, when Jenny offers to buy herself back. As scripted, the agent fails to grasp Mason’s quip about being licensed to kill. Later, near the end of Act Two, Dannon is not amused by Marker’s parting comment about them both being professional men. “There is more than a suggestion of ‘needle’ between them,” the script tells us. As played by Madoc, however, Dannon frequently bares his teeth in a shark-like grin or chuckles in a sinister manner.
In the script, Dannon – “a fastidious man” – touches a handkerchief to his lips after he finishes his first glass of sherry. As written, Mason declines a second sherry, but this is not the case on screen.
* * *
At the beginning of the final scene of Act One, Joe Mallett is “still yawning his head off” as he serves Mason. When asked what he told the ‘plainclothes cop’ (i.e. Marker) who was in there asking questions, Mallett was originally scripted to reply, “Nitto.” This is criminal slang meaning stop or be quiet. The line was changed to the more comprehensible and also more ominous, “Nothing… yet.” As a result, Mason’s response is more vehement when Mallett/Mallet considers what he should say if the ‘cop’ comes back. In the script, Mason replies, “Don’t. Just forget it.” On screen, he snaps, “Don’t you say anything. You keep your mouth shut!” Mason then puts on a smile as he returns to the table he is sharing with another new arrival, Sue Forbes. The act ends with her smiling back at him, completely unaware that anything is wrong, thus emphasising her naivety.
Sue is a little less ingenuous in the original script. She appears anxious when Mason returns to the table with their cups of tea. “Everything all right?” she asks him.
“Sure,” replies Mason. “Why not?”
“You look worried.”
“Ah, it’s old Joe,” Mason lies. “His missus has cracked up again.” He raises his cup, referring back to Sue’s dream of a modelling career. “Here’s to… a working model.” Sue raises her own cup in return.
This is followed by Scene 1a, “CLOSE SHOT – PETER MASON. (STUDIO)”, which establishes the character as “An unobtrusive man in his late twenties.” As in the completed episode, Mason stands on the station platform, drinking a carton of milk through a straw. “Beside him is a trolley loaded with fish boxes. Behind him is a tattered poster advertising one of the resorts like Blackpool or Brighton. Apart from his flickering eyes, he looks casual and relaxed.”
The recorded version of this episode omits Scene 1a, cutting straight from Scene 1 to Scene 1b, “INT. COMPARTMENTS. (STUDIO)”, in which Mason can be seen through the train’s windows. An old woman (who on screen was changed to a married couple) is gathering her belongings. Mason comes up to the window, looks in and then moves on, expressionlessly, to the next section. The next compartment contains Jenny Graham, “a purposeful twenty-three year old” (on screen, her age was reduced to twenty). She swings her case down off the rack and opens the train door. Mason watches, still expressionless, as she alights.
The final segment of the opening scene was to have been Scene 1c, “LEGS SEQUENCE – PLATFORM”, showing Jenny’s legs marching through the steam and dirt, up the platform, her heels echoing as she goes. In the finished episode, this was replaced with a continuation of Scene 1b, with the viewer seeing Jenny passing Mason, and then Mason following her.
* * *
The script describes Joe Mallet’s snack bar (referred to in the script as a coffee shop) as having “A counter laden with cups and cake under cloths, a steaming urn and, on shelves at the back, a pyramid of soup tins. Radio Luxembourg plays incessantly.” It is implied that it is the coffee shop’s radio that can be heard, but in the final production the music comes from Jenny’s portable radio. There is also a hatch leading to a kitchen out of vision.
In the script, Mallet (here spelled Mallett), yawns more frequently than he does on screen, initially when Mason enters the coffee shop. He yawns again (but for the first time on screen) when Mason pays for his cup of tea. In the script, Mallett promises that he will “Get me second wind in a minute.” In the recorded version, Mason tells Mallet to put his hand over his mouth.
When Mason sits down next to Jenny in the script, he shouts over to Mallett in reference to the radio, “Can’t hear ourselves think.” This was changed to Mason asking Jenny to pass the sugar (a routine he later repeats with Sue Forbes). In the completed episode, the volume of the radio is addressed slightly later in the scene – Jenny switches it off when she struggles to hear Mason’s question, “What was wrong with Hull?” In the script, Jenny refuses Mason’s offer of a cigarette, but she takes it on screen.
* * *
According to Roger Marshall’s description, North Country solicitor Drummond “is a forthright man – half an hour with him in a train and you’ll have his life story.” Marker’s introduction to him is more amicable in the rehearsal script than it would end up being in the transmitted version. In the script, Marker is present to usher in his guest when Drummond arrives at his door. “Mr Marker?” asks the solicitor.
“That’s right,” nods Marker. “You’re Drummond?”
Drummond confirms this, replying, “Of Drummond and Penfold.” Marker then bids him to take a seat.
As broadcast, the meeting gets off to a shakier start. Marker is out on the balcony feeding the pigeons when Drummond arrives at his door. The solicitor lets himself in, has a nosy around and then seats himself in Marker’s chair, where he looks through some of Marker’s paperwork. Marker sees this through the window and re-enters. “Receipts and counterfoils,” says Marker, annoyed. “Not very interesting.”
“Mr Marker?” asks the solicitor.
“I might be,” is all Marker is prepared to say at this point. “Who are you?”
“Drummond,” replies his guest, “of Drummond and Penfold.”
“Oh, then I am Marker.” The inquiry agent checks his watch. “I thought we said half past.”
“Well, it is, near enough,” replies Drummond.
The scene then continues more or less as scripted, with just a few small changes. One of these occurs when Drummond tells Marker that he saw the inquiry agent’s name in the classifieds (in the script, he found him in the phone book). On screen, Drummond adds, “F. Marker, Inquiry Agent. That doesn’t give much away.” “Not meant to,” replies Marker, “Inquiry agent, special investigator, private detective… Call me what you like for six pounds a day plus expenses.” This exchange was added to help introduce the main character to new viewers, as this episode was originally meant to launch Public Eye in the ATV London, Border, Channel and Westward regions.
After complaining to Drummond that there’s nothing like a cold trail, Marker was to have added, “As the bloodhound said.”
* * *
When Marker calls at the coffee shop in the script, Mallett is mopping the floor. On screen, he is putting empty bottles away under the counter. The scripted version of Mallett wears glasses – “Hold on,” he says, when shown the photograph of Jenny, “Have to get my specs.” Photo in hand, he goes around the counter and produces a pair of spectacles, which he loops over his ears. Despite this delaying tactic, Marker gets the impression that Mallett recognises Jenny.
In the script, the party of card-playing customers breaks up and begins to leave as Marker completes his questioning of Mallett. One of the customers, a taxi driver called Phil White, recognises Marker and says hello. During rehearsals, this was changed so that Marker goes over to the table and asks to speak to White. This revision emphasises Marker’s investigative skills – he seeks out White’s knowledge and connections, rather than them coming to him by convenient coincidence. In the script, the card-playing customers are all taxi drivers, but in the finished production only White wears a taxi driver’s uniform.
After being asked by White if he is still looking for “that fat fella”, Marker was to have replied, “I’ll find him one day.”
In the script, White accepts Marker’s offer of a couple of pounds for his help, after which Marker asks how his wife is. “She’s a lot better,” the taxi driver replies, before adding, “Got a problem for you.” In the completed episode, this was altered so that White refuses the payment. “Oh, please, Frank,” he chuckles, before adding, “But you can do something for me.”
* * *
Some of the visual business in Dannon’s antique shop and office was rejigged during rehearsals. In Dannon’s first scene, the script indicates that we see Dannon watching Mason as the latter enters the shop. This does not happen in the broadcast version of the scene, but we subsequently see Dannon peering through his office window when Marker visits the shop towards the end of Act Two.
Dannon’s second scene with Mason, earlier in Act Two, establishes that there is a bowl of rosebuds on the desk in Dannon’s office. In the final production, the rosebuds are seen earlier, during the first meeting between Dannon and Mason. Philip Madoc makes use of one of these when his character describes Jenny as a resource that could be exploited more effectively. Dannon was originally scripted to say, “But even gems need polishing. Need a good setting to highlight them.” In the finished episode, Dannon takes one of the rosebuds as he says, “But even a gem needs polishing.” He puts the rosebud in his buttonhole as he adds, “Even a rose needs a good setting… to highlight it.” He then chuckles at his own joke.
On the page, Dannon is an almost entirely humourless character, who “permits himself a smile” just once – in Act Three, when Jenny offers to buy herself back. As scripted, the agent fails to grasp Mason’s quip about being licensed to kill. Later, near the end of Act Two, Dannon is not amused by Marker’s parting comment about them both being professional men. “There is more than a suggestion of ‘needle’ between them,” the script tells us. As played by Madoc, however, Dannon frequently bares his teeth in a shark-like grin or chuckles in a sinister manner.
In the script, Dannon – “a fastidious man” – touches a handkerchief to his lips after he finishes his first glass of sherry. As written, Mason declines a second sherry, but this is not the case on screen.
* * *
At the beginning of the final scene of Act One, Joe Mallett is “still yawning his head off” as he serves Mason. When asked what he told the ‘plainclothes cop’ (i.e. Marker) who was in there asking questions, Mallett was originally scripted to reply, “Nitto.” This is criminal slang meaning stop or be quiet. The line was changed to the more comprehensible and also more ominous, “Nothing… yet.” As a result, Mason’s response is more vehement when Mallett/Mallet considers what he should say if the ‘cop’ comes back. In the script, Mason replies, “Don’t. Just forget it.” On screen, he snaps, “Don’t you say anything. You keep your mouth shut!” Mason then puts on a smile as he returns to the table he is sharing with another new arrival, Sue Forbes. The act ends with her smiling back at him, completely unaware that anything is wrong, thus emphasising her naivety.
Sue is a little less ingenuous in the original script. She appears anxious when Mason returns to the table with their cups of tea. “Everything all right?” she asks him.
“Sure,” replies Mason. “Why not?”
“You look worried.”
“Ah, it’s old Joe,” Mason lies. “His missus has cracked up again.” He raises his cup, referring back to Sue’s dream of a modelling career. “Here’s to… a working model.” Sue raises her own cup in return.
In the antique shop, after Mason has offered to sell Jenny for a thousand pounds, Dannon was originally to have received instructions from his client. In the script, the telephone on his desk rings. Dannon answers it: “Yes?” After a moment, he adds, “Very good.” Then he hangs up and offers Mason two hundred. In the completed episode, Dannon merely laughs before offering the two hundred.
After Dannon has played back the tape recording of their earlier conversation, in the script Dannon explains that it “Keeps the record straight. My principals like to know I’m not ‘corning’ them. Also avoids that dreary moment when you offer me a cut.” The meaning of the word “corning” in this context is obscure, but it appears to carry connotations of monetary value (in Jamaican Patois, the noun “corn” means marijuana, money or ammunition, while the verb form means to acquire in plenty) and the idea of Dannon keeping some of it for himself (more standard definitions of the verb include to preserve, to granulate, or to feed something with corn). Ultimately, the production team elected not to preserve this enigmatic phrase. In the transmitted version, Dannon says, “Well, it keeps everything in order and avoids that dreary moment when you offer me a cut.”
After Mason has agreed that Jenny will be picked up from his place at eight o’clock that evening, as she stands, with no luggage, the scene was to have concluded with Dannon reiterating, “No luggage.” This was rewritten to mention Marker, creating a link to the next scene. As Mason opens the door to leave, Dannon stops him and asks, “Who’s Marker?” Mason looks surprised and mystified by the question.
* * *
Some of the detail of Marker’s snooping at Mason’s place (referred to in the script as a “hustling gaff”) may have been lost in the close-up view presented on screen. The rehearsal script informs us that Jenny’s wardrobe contains “a selection of off-the-peg dresses, half a dozen pairs of shoes and handbags.” Marker “examines the tips of the heels on the shoes – they’re all worn down. He smiles ruefully.”
In the script, Jenny’s room is numbered “3” (it is not numbered on screen), the mirror is on the outside rather than the inside of the wardrobe door (so Marker has to mask the door with his back until the writing on the mirror is revealed) and it is not the sound of Sue crying that draws Marker out into the hallway but the noise of the front door banging shut as she returns to Mason’s place.
Marker and Sue’s discussion about the cards in the tobacconist’s window was adjusted during rehearsals. In the script, after establishing that he is talking to Suzanne rather than Annette, Marker says, “Oh, yes. ‘Gentlemen’s shirts monogrammed by hand. Please phone… etcetera, etcetera.’ Subtle.” Sue asks, “So?”, to which Marker replies, “So I get suspicious when I see the same phone number serves shirt monogramming, a Swedish model and ‘Discriminating people like the best.’ With corrective leather-ware thrown in for good measure?” In the finished production, this was abbreviated slightly. Marker says, “Ah, yes. You’re, er, ‘Gentlemen’s shirts monogrammed by hand’, aren’t you?”, to which Sue replies, “That’s right.” Marker then asks, “What’s Annette? Is she ‘Discriminating people like the best’ or ‘Corrective leather-ware’?”
After Marker shows Mason Jenny’s parting message, “FIRST DIVISION HERE I COME”, written in lipstick on her mirror, the next line in the script is confusingly attributed to Marker: “Something I said once – about Fourth Division talent.” This makes no sense, as it was Mason who had previously referred to “Horizontal heavyweights” being “strictly Fourth Division”. It seems likely that an interrogative line from Marker was accidentally omitted when the script was typed and Mason’s line was then erroneously attributed to Marker. This was rectified prior to recording, so that Marker asks Mason, “What’s she mean by that – First Division?”, to which Mason replies, “Something I once said to her.”
Mason asking the inquiry agent if his name is Marker, and Marker confirming that it is, were added during rehearsals, to align with the rewrite at the end of the previous Dannon scene. These changes also tie in with subsequent dialogue already in the script, during a discussion between Marker and Dannon, which states that Mason told Dannon that Marker is looking for Jenny.
When Mason attempts to deny that he has sold Jenny, Marker was to have told him, “You’re not even a good liar.” Before mentioning the eels under Twickenham Bridge, Marker was also to have provided a little more detail about what Dannon’s men are likely to do to Mason: “Cement overcoat, at least.” In the script, “Mason thinks Marker is joshing him,” but the scene in the final production ends on a more dramatic note, with Mason looking afraid and Marker demanding, “Now, who’d you sell her to?”
* * *
In the Cage d’Or Restaurant (which was not named in the rehearsal script), Gordon Reynolds was to have suggested prawn cocktail as a starter before Jenny decides upon pâté maison. The line “Prawn cocktail?” was reallocated to another diner, who can be heard faintly in the background of the recorded episode.
When Jenny notices that he eats well, Reynolds is defensive about his weight in the script. “Am I getting fat?” he asks. “Executive spread,” replies Jenny. Reynolds pulls his stomach in and sits up straight. He crumbles a bread roll and picks at it, then – remembering that bread is fattening – switches to Ryvita. In the broadcast version, Jenny’s line is transferred to Reynolds, who pats his belly proudly and says, “That’s executive spread!”
More is made of Reynolds’s lack of sophistication in the completed production. His reference to duck à l’orange as duck “with the oranges” and his evident confusion when Dover, the head waiter, asks him if he would like pommes parisienne and petits pois were added during rehearsals.
Whereas Dannon smiles more often on screen than he does in the script, the opposite is true of Jenny Graham. She is scripted to smile several times, including during her comment “He’s quick with it” in this scene and her subsequent remark to Alan James that his eyes go two shades darker when he gets intense. As played by Carole Ann Ford, Jenny never smiles, remaining cynical throughout.
Roger Marshall’s script says the following about the dynamic between James, Reynolds and Jenny: “For all James’s superficial slickness, there is a slight suggestion of seediness. At first Reynolds is embarrassed. His defensive reactions are obvious. More interesting, however, are those between James and Jenny. They’ve met before – professionally.”
After Reynolds tells James that Jenny paints – which comes as news to her – Jenny’s scripted response is “Gordon’s exaggerating. I only paint zebra crossings.” This was changed to the much wittier “Gordon’s kidding. I just paint the town.”
* * *
The chair that Marker sits on in the antique shop is twice as old in the script as it is on screen. In the script, Dannon tells Marker, “It’s lasted two hundred years.” In the recorded episode, he says, “It’s a hundred years old.” Marker’s response to Dannon’s assertion that he, his client and Marker are all professional men also differs between script and screen. Marker was originally scripted to reply, “You’ll make me think pimping’s an honourable business.” This was changed to the equally sarcastic, “Yes, I suppose you could call poncing a profession.”
* * *
In Jenny’s flat, when Alan James asks Jenny what she’d like to drink, the script emphasises his familiarity with her by having him ask, “The usual?”
It is possible that an earlier draft of the script contained a scene prior to this one set in Jenny’s flat. The rehearsal script states that “Alan James stands looking up at the photo”, as though the photo (on the wall of Jenny’s living room, showing a pair of racing cars on a track) had already been introduced. The scenes in the rehearsal script are numbered, but this offers no clues as to where the purported deleted scene might have taken place, as there are no missing numbers in the sequence. Quite the opposite, in fact – numbers 9 and 10 are repeated, as follows:
The rehearsal script reveals the fate of the photographer who provided all the pictures on Jenny’s walls. “He’s finished,” Jenny explains. “His magazine folded. The last I heard, he was doing stills for a girly paper.” The script also gives the name of Georgie Harrap’s business – Alan James refers to it as Harrap’s Motors.
The business with James picking Jenny up and sitting her on his lap was added during rehearsals.
In the script, James says that Reynolds’s evangelical father buys church organs and roofs like Jenny buys paper tissues – his point of comparison being based on a box of the same that he spots nearby. In the finished episode, Jenny is putting on her stockings at the time, so James’s line is adjusted accordingly: “He buys organs and church roofs like you buy, er… nylons.”
In the final production, James is vague about the amount of money he stands to gain from blackmailing Reynolds – he just says, “A lot.” He is more specific in the script, telling Jenny, “Ten thousand.” Similarly, the transmitted version of Act Two ends with Jenny referring to a non-specific “cut” that she expects to receive, whereas the second act of the rehearsal script closes with Jenny wondering what will be left for James, “When you’ve paid me my thousand.”
After Dannon has played back the tape recording of their earlier conversation, in the script Dannon explains that it “Keeps the record straight. My principals like to know I’m not ‘corning’ them. Also avoids that dreary moment when you offer me a cut.” The meaning of the word “corning” in this context is obscure, but it appears to carry connotations of monetary value (in Jamaican Patois, the noun “corn” means marijuana, money or ammunition, while the verb form means to acquire in plenty) and the idea of Dannon keeping some of it for himself (more standard definitions of the verb include to preserve, to granulate, or to feed something with corn). Ultimately, the production team elected not to preserve this enigmatic phrase. In the transmitted version, Dannon says, “Well, it keeps everything in order and avoids that dreary moment when you offer me a cut.”
After Mason has agreed that Jenny will be picked up from his place at eight o’clock that evening, as she stands, with no luggage, the scene was to have concluded with Dannon reiterating, “No luggage.” This was rewritten to mention Marker, creating a link to the next scene. As Mason opens the door to leave, Dannon stops him and asks, “Who’s Marker?” Mason looks surprised and mystified by the question.
* * *
Some of the detail of Marker’s snooping at Mason’s place (referred to in the script as a “hustling gaff”) may have been lost in the close-up view presented on screen. The rehearsal script informs us that Jenny’s wardrobe contains “a selection of off-the-peg dresses, half a dozen pairs of shoes and handbags.” Marker “examines the tips of the heels on the shoes – they’re all worn down. He smiles ruefully.”
In the script, Jenny’s room is numbered “3” (it is not numbered on screen), the mirror is on the outside rather than the inside of the wardrobe door (so Marker has to mask the door with his back until the writing on the mirror is revealed) and it is not the sound of Sue crying that draws Marker out into the hallway but the noise of the front door banging shut as she returns to Mason’s place.
Marker and Sue’s discussion about the cards in the tobacconist’s window was adjusted during rehearsals. In the script, after establishing that he is talking to Suzanne rather than Annette, Marker says, “Oh, yes. ‘Gentlemen’s shirts monogrammed by hand. Please phone… etcetera, etcetera.’ Subtle.” Sue asks, “So?”, to which Marker replies, “So I get suspicious when I see the same phone number serves shirt monogramming, a Swedish model and ‘Discriminating people like the best.’ With corrective leather-ware thrown in for good measure?” In the finished production, this was abbreviated slightly. Marker says, “Ah, yes. You’re, er, ‘Gentlemen’s shirts monogrammed by hand’, aren’t you?”, to which Sue replies, “That’s right.” Marker then asks, “What’s Annette? Is she ‘Discriminating people like the best’ or ‘Corrective leather-ware’?”
After Marker shows Mason Jenny’s parting message, “FIRST DIVISION HERE I COME”, written in lipstick on her mirror, the next line in the script is confusingly attributed to Marker: “Something I said once – about Fourth Division talent.” This makes no sense, as it was Mason who had previously referred to “Horizontal heavyweights” being “strictly Fourth Division”. It seems likely that an interrogative line from Marker was accidentally omitted when the script was typed and Mason’s line was then erroneously attributed to Marker. This was rectified prior to recording, so that Marker asks Mason, “What’s she mean by that – First Division?”, to which Mason replies, “Something I once said to her.”
Mason asking the inquiry agent if his name is Marker, and Marker confirming that it is, were added during rehearsals, to align with the rewrite at the end of the previous Dannon scene. These changes also tie in with subsequent dialogue already in the script, during a discussion between Marker and Dannon, which states that Mason told Dannon that Marker is looking for Jenny.
When Mason attempts to deny that he has sold Jenny, Marker was to have told him, “You’re not even a good liar.” Before mentioning the eels under Twickenham Bridge, Marker was also to have provided a little more detail about what Dannon’s men are likely to do to Mason: “Cement overcoat, at least.” In the script, “Mason thinks Marker is joshing him,” but the scene in the final production ends on a more dramatic note, with Mason looking afraid and Marker demanding, “Now, who’d you sell her to?”
* * *
In the Cage d’Or Restaurant (which was not named in the rehearsal script), Gordon Reynolds was to have suggested prawn cocktail as a starter before Jenny decides upon pâté maison. The line “Prawn cocktail?” was reallocated to another diner, who can be heard faintly in the background of the recorded episode.
When Jenny notices that he eats well, Reynolds is defensive about his weight in the script. “Am I getting fat?” he asks. “Executive spread,” replies Jenny. Reynolds pulls his stomach in and sits up straight. He crumbles a bread roll and picks at it, then – remembering that bread is fattening – switches to Ryvita. In the broadcast version, Jenny’s line is transferred to Reynolds, who pats his belly proudly and says, “That’s executive spread!”
More is made of Reynolds’s lack of sophistication in the completed production. His reference to duck à l’orange as duck “with the oranges” and his evident confusion when Dover, the head waiter, asks him if he would like pommes parisienne and petits pois were added during rehearsals.
Whereas Dannon smiles more often on screen than he does in the script, the opposite is true of Jenny Graham. She is scripted to smile several times, including during her comment “He’s quick with it” in this scene and her subsequent remark to Alan James that his eyes go two shades darker when he gets intense. As played by Carole Ann Ford, Jenny never smiles, remaining cynical throughout.
Roger Marshall’s script says the following about the dynamic between James, Reynolds and Jenny: “For all James’s superficial slickness, there is a slight suggestion of seediness. At first Reynolds is embarrassed. His defensive reactions are obvious. More interesting, however, are those between James and Jenny. They’ve met before – professionally.”
After Reynolds tells James that Jenny paints – which comes as news to her – Jenny’s scripted response is “Gordon’s exaggerating. I only paint zebra crossings.” This was changed to the much wittier “Gordon’s kidding. I just paint the town.”
* * *
The chair that Marker sits on in the antique shop is twice as old in the script as it is on screen. In the script, Dannon tells Marker, “It’s lasted two hundred years.” In the recorded episode, he says, “It’s a hundred years old.” Marker’s response to Dannon’s assertion that he, his client and Marker are all professional men also differs between script and screen. Marker was originally scripted to reply, “You’ll make me think pimping’s an honourable business.” This was changed to the equally sarcastic, “Yes, I suppose you could call poncing a profession.”
* * *
In Jenny’s flat, when Alan James asks Jenny what she’d like to drink, the script emphasises his familiarity with her by having him ask, “The usual?”
It is possible that an earlier draft of the script contained a scene prior to this one set in Jenny’s flat. The rehearsal script states that “Alan James stands looking up at the photo”, as though the photo (on the wall of Jenny’s living room, showing a pair of racing cars on a track) had already been introduced. The scenes in the rehearsal script are numbered, but this offers no clues as to where the purported deleted scene might have taken place, as there are no missing numbers in the sequence. Quite the opposite, in fact – numbers 9 and 10 are repeated, as follows:
- 9. INT. HALL [of hustling gaff]. DAY.
- 10. INT. [Jenny’s bedroom in] HUSTLING GAFF. DAY.
- 9. INT. RESTAURANT. DAY.
- 10. INT. ANTIQUE SHOP. DAY.
The rehearsal script reveals the fate of the photographer who provided all the pictures on Jenny’s walls. “He’s finished,” Jenny explains. “His magazine folded. The last I heard, he was doing stills for a girly paper.” The script also gives the name of Georgie Harrap’s business – Alan James refers to it as Harrap’s Motors.
The business with James picking Jenny up and sitting her on his lap was added during rehearsals.
In the script, James says that Reynolds’s evangelical father buys church organs and roofs like Jenny buys paper tissues – his point of comparison being based on a box of the same that he spots nearby. In the finished episode, Jenny is putting on her stockings at the time, so James’s line is adjusted accordingly: “He buys organs and church roofs like you buy, er… nylons.”
In the final production, James is vague about the amount of money he stands to gain from blackmailing Reynolds – he just says, “A lot.” He is more specific in the script, telling Jenny, “Ten thousand.” Similarly, the transmitted version of Act Two ends with Jenny referring to a non-specific “cut” that she expects to receive, whereas the second act of the rehearsal script closes with Jenny wondering what will be left for James, “When you’ve paid me my thousand.”
Act Three of the rehearsal script opens with a short scene in Marker’s office, which was dropped from the completed episode. It opens with a close-up on the soles of Marker’s shoes, both of which have holes in them. The camera pulls out to show that Marker’s feet are propped up on his desk. He has the phone to his ear, waiting for his taxi driver friend Phil White to answer. He drinks coffee while he waits. “Phil?” says Marker, when the other end finally picks up. “Frank Marker. Sorry to bother you. Any joy with that girl?” He nods as he listens to White’s reply. No one has seen her. “No,” continues Marker, “I’m bashing the town, trying the likely spots. I’ve got a friend in the Post Office – he’s trying the ‘changes of address’ for me – but it’s a long shot. Just thought I’d ask. See you.” He hangs up, gets wearily to his feet and finishes his coffee. Then he crosses to the window and feeds a few crusts to the pigeons outside. He’s just starting out again – slowly and stiffly – when the phone rings. He crosses to answer it. “Marker… Hello, Mr Drummond. You got my note…? No, nothing more to report. She left this local boy. No one’s seen or heard of her since… Sure I’ll keep trying. What shall we give it – another week?” Marker promises to call Drummond, if and when he has anything to report. He hangs up and yawns.
It may have been felt that the scene did not advance the plot and that the episode worked just as well, if not better, without it. However, the production team may have regretted cutting it when critic Milton Shulman (see Who Wants to Be Told Bad News?) complained that Marker had managed to track Jenny down “through no detection device that was visible to the naked eye”.
* * *
When Moses at the shoeshine stand advises Marker that, with a memory as good as his, he ought to remember to buy himself a new pair of shoes, Marker was originally scripted to reply, “Witticisms while you shine, eh?” This was changed to: “Oh. Patter with the polish, already.” In the script, Moses says rather than sings his sugary sentiment that a little smile helps the world go round, to which Marker protests, “Please! Remember my diabetes!” In the broadcast version, Marker’s response is revised to: “Oh, Blackie! Please!”
In the rehearsal script, Marker pays Moses five shillings for information about Jenny – Marker tips two half crowns (equal to five shillings in total) into Moses’s cap and later complains, “Poor five-bobsworth that.” In the finished episode, Marker pays twice as much, handing Moses a banknote (presumably a ten-shilling note) and later complains, “Pretty poor ten-bobsworth this time, though.” In the script, Moses has the last word, remarking that at least Marker’s shoes got a nice shine. Marker’s retort, “Huh! Fat lot of good this weather!”, was added during rehearsals.
* * *
When Marker bathes his aching feet after walking all over the West End, the script describes him as having “an expression of absolute rapture on his face. All the good things in the world are happening to him.” After Phil White suggests that Marker should have given him a ring, the inquiry agent was to have joked, “That’s what my old girlfriend used to say,” making the taxi driver laugh. Perhaps feeling that viewers (especially new ones) would require a proper explanation, the production team altered Marker’s reply: “Oh, my customers won’t stand too many cabs, Phil. Too expensive.” White’s response was also added during rehearsals – he extends an affronted hand and says, “Frank! Please! For you…”
In the script, White says that Jenny’s telephone number is GROsvenor 1929. In the final production, White hands Marker a piece of paper rather than saying the number out loud.
As scripted, tea is Marker’s idea. “You want a cup?” he says, “Put the kettle on.” In the recorded episode, it is White’s idea. “Hey, do you fancy a cup of tea?” he asks. Marker pretends to deliberate: “Mmm. Do I or I don’t I?” White gets up, saying, “I’ll stick the kettle on.” The scene as transmitted ends with White waiting for the kettle to boil, whereas in the script it concludes with Marker waiting for his phone call to be answered.
* * *
In his final scene in the script, Joe Mallett is stacking jam tarts rather than cupcakes in the display case when Sue Forbes comes to see him. When her questions distract him, he complains, “Now I’m getting my pies mixed up with my jams.” After suggesting that Sue should find herself another man, Mallett was to have added, “There’s plenty of ’em around. Try one of the clubs in Soho.” “Thanks a lot,” says Sue, coldly, in the script, to which Mallett replies, “Don’t blame me.”
* * *
When Marker finally meets Jenny, in the script she stands rather than sits opposite Marker, who is sitting back in one of the easy chairs. “Maybe she can see the hole in the sole of Marker’s shoe,” suggests the script. A couple of lines were cut from the beginning of their discussion. “I think there’s been some mistake, Mr Marker,” says Jenny. “Has there?” replies Marker, innocently.
Before his comment that every call girl has a certain life span, Marker was to have suggested, “Perhaps go up to Manchester, Birmingham.” After warning that every now and again the retail flesh merchants like to juggle the faces, he was to have added, “Wouldn’t like to see yours looking at me from under the headlines.”
On screen, Jenny boasts that she earned £300 in the last week. She made even more in the script: “Mr Marker, last week I banked £400. Did you?”
As described in the script, we see less of Dannon’s heavies. As Marker leaves Jenny’s flat and the camera pans to the shadows, “We can just see a pair of eyes.” In the final production, two men emerge from the shadows. One signals for the other to follow Marker. The remaining man stands by Jenny’s door, presumably to ensure that she stays there until Dannon arrives.
* * *
In the rehearsal script, Dannon’s scene with Jenny takes place before Marker’s final scene with Drummond, which was changed from a daytime scene to a nighttime one. This means that, when Marker claims that he went back to Jenny’s flat but found it empty, he may have been telling the truth in the script, but he is certainly lying in the episode as recorded.
When Drummond turns back from the door, he was to have said to Marker, “I told you we had things in common,” referring back to their initial meeting in Act One. What they have in common on this occasion is that Drummond refuses to drop the case until he knows the whole truth, as would usually be true of Marker as well.
A little later, Drummond protests, “But you got so close.” This was changed to “But you talked to her.” Marker’s reply in the script is rather poetic: “I was never less than ten years away.” This was revised to the more prosaic “Oh, yes, yes, I talked to her.” When Marker says that he doesn’t understand any more than Drummond does, he was to have added, “But take my word for it. It’s like someone’s been sucked under by quicksand. There’s only one thing you can do – accept it.”
After Drummond leaves in the script, Marker, “depressed and low,” collects their empty cups and takes them into the kitchen to wash them. The scene then continues with Sue Forbes knocking on Marker’s door. In the transmitted episode, the scene ends with the dejected Marker rubbing his face with his hand. His meeting with Sue becomes a separate scene, which occurs after Jenny’s ominous conversation with Dannon.
* * *
On the page, it appears that Jenny has tried to get away before Dannon finds her. Her flat is devoid of possessions apart from one large packing case. Dannon sits on this as he explains the situation to her.
* * *
As televised, Marker’s final scene takes place the following day. Marker has changed back into his usual suit, shirt and tie, and is working out his accounts. He loses count when Jenny knocks on the door. In the rehearsal script, this scene is a continuation of Marker’s previous scene, in which he has just gone into the kitchen to wash up. He reappears when Sue Forbes comes in.
The business with Marker opening the biscuit tin (containing Garibaldis) and offering it to Sue was added during rehearsals, as was his decision to open a tin of soup for her. The latter replaced some deleted dialogue in which Sue wonders, “Where will I stay?” Marker suggests the YWCA, referring to the Young Women’s Christian Association (the female equivalent of the YMCA), a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting the empowerment and rights of women and girls, including the provision of canteens and hostels. “I nearly went there,” recalls Sue, “the first night.”
After Sue apologises and Marker tells her not to, he was to have said, “I’m glad you came,” which arguably would have worked better than the line Alfred Burke delivers on screen: “It’s what I’m here for.” In the script, Sue looks puzzled, whereas on screen the focus is on Marker in the kitchen. “I’m glad you came” would have led nicely into the all-important concluding line, containing the episode’s title: “The morning wasn’t so hot. Maybe this afternoon’ll be better.” The rehearsal script ends with Marker picking up the phone and waiting for Sue to give him her mother’s number.
It may have been felt that the scene did not advance the plot and that the episode worked just as well, if not better, without it. However, the production team may have regretted cutting it when critic Milton Shulman (see Who Wants to Be Told Bad News?) complained that Marker had managed to track Jenny down “through no detection device that was visible to the naked eye”.
* * *
When Moses at the shoeshine stand advises Marker that, with a memory as good as his, he ought to remember to buy himself a new pair of shoes, Marker was originally scripted to reply, “Witticisms while you shine, eh?” This was changed to: “Oh. Patter with the polish, already.” In the script, Moses says rather than sings his sugary sentiment that a little smile helps the world go round, to which Marker protests, “Please! Remember my diabetes!” In the broadcast version, Marker’s response is revised to: “Oh, Blackie! Please!”
In the rehearsal script, Marker pays Moses five shillings for information about Jenny – Marker tips two half crowns (equal to five shillings in total) into Moses’s cap and later complains, “Poor five-bobsworth that.” In the finished episode, Marker pays twice as much, handing Moses a banknote (presumably a ten-shilling note) and later complains, “Pretty poor ten-bobsworth this time, though.” In the script, Moses has the last word, remarking that at least Marker’s shoes got a nice shine. Marker’s retort, “Huh! Fat lot of good this weather!”, was added during rehearsals.
* * *
When Marker bathes his aching feet after walking all over the West End, the script describes him as having “an expression of absolute rapture on his face. All the good things in the world are happening to him.” After Phil White suggests that Marker should have given him a ring, the inquiry agent was to have joked, “That’s what my old girlfriend used to say,” making the taxi driver laugh. Perhaps feeling that viewers (especially new ones) would require a proper explanation, the production team altered Marker’s reply: “Oh, my customers won’t stand too many cabs, Phil. Too expensive.” White’s response was also added during rehearsals – he extends an affronted hand and says, “Frank! Please! For you…”
In the script, White says that Jenny’s telephone number is GROsvenor 1929. In the final production, White hands Marker a piece of paper rather than saying the number out loud.
As scripted, tea is Marker’s idea. “You want a cup?” he says, “Put the kettle on.” In the recorded episode, it is White’s idea. “Hey, do you fancy a cup of tea?” he asks. Marker pretends to deliberate: “Mmm. Do I or I don’t I?” White gets up, saying, “I’ll stick the kettle on.” The scene as transmitted ends with White waiting for the kettle to boil, whereas in the script it concludes with Marker waiting for his phone call to be answered.
* * *
In his final scene in the script, Joe Mallett is stacking jam tarts rather than cupcakes in the display case when Sue Forbes comes to see him. When her questions distract him, he complains, “Now I’m getting my pies mixed up with my jams.” After suggesting that Sue should find herself another man, Mallett was to have added, “There’s plenty of ’em around. Try one of the clubs in Soho.” “Thanks a lot,” says Sue, coldly, in the script, to which Mallett replies, “Don’t blame me.”
* * *
When Marker finally meets Jenny, in the script she stands rather than sits opposite Marker, who is sitting back in one of the easy chairs. “Maybe she can see the hole in the sole of Marker’s shoe,” suggests the script. A couple of lines were cut from the beginning of their discussion. “I think there’s been some mistake, Mr Marker,” says Jenny. “Has there?” replies Marker, innocently.
Before his comment that every call girl has a certain life span, Marker was to have suggested, “Perhaps go up to Manchester, Birmingham.” After warning that every now and again the retail flesh merchants like to juggle the faces, he was to have added, “Wouldn’t like to see yours looking at me from under the headlines.”
On screen, Jenny boasts that she earned £300 in the last week. She made even more in the script: “Mr Marker, last week I banked £400. Did you?”
As described in the script, we see less of Dannon’s heavies. As Marker leaves Jenny’s flat and the camera pans to the shadows, “We can just see a pair of eyes.” In the final production, two men emerge from the shadows. One signals for the other to follow Marker. The remaining man stands by Jenny’s door, presumably to ensure that she stays there until Dannon arrives.
* * *
In the rehearsal script, Dannon’s scene with Jenny takes place before Marker’s final scene with Drummond, which was changed from a daytime scene to a nighttime one. This means that, when Marker claims that he went back to Jenny’s flat but found it empty, he may have been telling the truth in the script, but he is certainly lying in the episode as recorded.
When Drummond turns back from the door, he was to have said to Marker, “I told you we had things in common,” referring back to their initial meeting in Act One. What they have in common on this occasion is that Drummond refuses to drop the case until he knows the whole truth, as would usually be true of Marker as well.
A little later, Drummond protests, “But you got so close.” This was changed to “But you talked to her.” Marker’s reply in the script is rather poetic: “I was never less than ten years away.” This was revised to the more prosaic “Oh, yes, yes, I talked to her.” When Marker says that he doesn’t understand any more than Drummond does, he was to have added, “But take my word for it. It’s like someone’s been sucked under by quicksand. There’s only one thing you can do – accept it.”
After Drummond leaves in the script, Marker, “depressed and low,” collects their empty cups and takes them into the kitchen to wash them. The scene then continues with Sue Forbes knocking on Marker’s door. In the transmitted episode, the scene ends with the dejected Marker rubbing his face with his hand. His meeting with Sue becomes a separate scene, which occurs after Jenny’s ominous conversation with Dannon.
* * *
On the page, it appears that Jenny has tried to get away before Dannon finds her. Her flat is devoid of possessions apart from one large packing case. Dannon sits on this as he explains the situation to her.
* * *
As televised, Marker’s final scene takes place the following day. Marker has changed back into his usual suit, shirt and tie, and is working out his accounts. He loses count when Jenny knocks on the door. In the rehearsal script, this scene is a continuation of Marker’s previous scene, in which he has just gone into the kitchen to wash up. He reappears when Sue Forbes comes in.
The business with Marker opening the biscuit tin (containing Garibaldis) and offering it to Sue was added during rehearsals, as was his decision to open a tin of soup for her. The latter replaced some deleted dialogue in which Sue wonders, “Where will I stay?” Marker suggests the YWCA, referring to the Young Women’s Christian Association (the female equivalent of the YMCA), a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting the empowerment and rights of women and girls, including the provision of canteens and hostels. “I nearly went there,” recalls Sue, “the first night.”
After Sue apologises and Marker tells her not to, he was to have said, “I’m glad you came,” which arguably would have worked better than the line Alfred Burke delivers on screen: “It’s what I’m here for.” In the script, Sue looks puzzled, whereas on screen the focus is on Marker in the kitchen. “I’m glad you came” would have led nicely into the all-important concluding line, containing the episode’s title: “The morning wasn’t so hot. Maybe this afternoon’ll be better.” The rehearsal script ends with Marker picking up the phone and waiting for Sue to give him her mother’s number.